note to someone.

Who I am. Well, in case you wonder, I’m a mostly nice and kind, also silly and naive, trustworthy, maybe too dreamy, a crap of a human being that’s blindly searching for some piece of happiness. I like to think back at the time when I was a kid and knew no worries and disappointments, but these memories are now just a reminder for the days that suck the happiness out of me. I know I’m being sometimes too emotional, too sentimental, but then I think of myself not being all that and I would probably hate myself if I would stop these feelings from coming. I am who I am for what I can give to people, for how I make them feel and that’s probably the reason why each person that comes into my life means so much to me. Just cause I have feelings, doesn’t make a weak person, in fact, I’m thankful for this cause, there are feelings like really great feelings that just warm up my soul.

Sadly, I’m not really capable of showing people the person I really am, cause sometimes my behavior is kind of misleading. Before starting to write this I had so many thoughts and I knew exactly what I wanted to put on paper, but now, I doubt the purpose of it. I am afraid. I always am. Sometimes I catch myself to the thought that there’s nothing to be afraid of, but I still am. Don’t even know why I write this anymore, I just feel like I have to say it. Never meant to hurt anyone on purpose, always tried to fit someone else’s needs rather than mines. That was my biggest mistake. I get too attached to people, I let them too deep in my soul and mind, I fall in love and then realize that it was totally not the case. I know I’m not going to be here for a long time and I might not feel what I feel now, but what I felt was amazing and the memories don’t go away that easy. I guess it helps to write down what’s in your head just to confirm to yourself how stupid you can be to write about your feelings at 3 a.m., what a dumbass, but I don’t want to keep them inside anymore. Just wanted to clarify that I am a human being with a heart that beats 24/7, about 60 beats a minute, it gets up to 90 beats a minute when I’m nervous. The most funny and sad at the same time thing is that I clearly understand that you don’t give a fu*k about all of this shit, but I still continue writing. Silly, right? So yeah, that’s a part of me. Nice to meet you. (shaking hands)

P.S.Just know, that if you don’t care, don’t make people think otherwise, don’t make them feel special.


who we are

large  Life is given to discover and enjoy every single moment of it, either the good or bad and as Stephen Hawking once said: life is a hope. What we aim to do is take it all, go through its challenges and parties, so that at the last moment we could say relieved that our life was spent with major purpose and we’ve lived happily.

Over a lifetime people get to understand most of the things that are supposed to be the reason of our existence. However, due to many other factors that come unpredictably, life gives us questions we cannot find answers to. Every single day we search for a clue, for an explanation to some of the things that have no logical reason for happening. “This time,(we think) all should go right” and when you’re just a step close to the finish line, you start to drown. We can spend years living and loving a person we barely know and we may convince ourselves that this person is the right one, even when it’s not, but we still love and we keep staying there like we’re tied, although we are free. We can dream of another life or hope for a change, but what we do today makes no difference from what we’ve done yesterday, so we remain with what we have, because deep inside our souls it’s cozy calmly life of ours. We can put problems aside, leave a thought for another time or run away from reality.  All together, they make a mess growing bigger and bigger like a tumor in our souls, it eats us alive, but we can’t see it. I was told once that everything has a reasonable explanation, that every person has someone to love and in the end everyone will find their place in the world.

Thinking about all I’ve written above, I can say only a few things:  I do believe in everyone and everything having its place. I do think that there’s a strong, momentary unknown connection between two people and no matter what happens and these two will always find a way back to each other, just like a boomerang finds its way back. I still tend to form my own theories about what happens around me, also including myself. It’s unbelievably hard to understand yourself and what you truly feel, especially when we have about 70,000 thoughts per day. Due to that, we might find it easier to establish a few hypotheses that could help us find a short way out from our everyday-life-labyrinth. Speaking about the life itself and the reason why we’ve been marked by all of the event that happened in the past few centuries, I can suppose that all this time we are constantly searching for something. The wealth, fame and success can be named as intermediaries, not as the aim itself. Fights, suffering and lost hopes are the result of a strong desire of finding the meaning of life, the will of answering questions for which has not been found the answer yet: How did life appear on earth and which is our purpose in its evolution? People want much more than full wallets and fancy living. Deep inside of even the darkest person there’s an issue that can be removed. Using the power of thinking and analyzing, despite every barrier, we are strong enough to handle challenges and accomplish whatever mission was meant for us, whatever dream we had or goal we’ve set.

It’s not about discovering the beginning of all, it’s about finding a way to ensure a future for the next generations, so that our 21 century was someday one of the many that have passed gracefully and memorably.

When past is lost forever, the future is the only safe shelter

largeOur actions are as strong as a stone, our dreams – as  fleeting as a summer breeze,  our soul is unprotected, sometimes lost, sometimes hopeless… but we still keep living, making mistakes, loosing and winning, loving and hating, thinking that the only way to survive is to keep going and never stop.

There is such a moment when all you’ve believed in turned into a big lie, friends you thought are always ready to stand for you, are nothing more than ones of those who come and go, travelling through your soul like in a train station. All they leave behind is pain and endless disappointment. I would never write it if I haven’t felt it on my own skin and I did felt it. At the beginning I thought it wasn’t real and actually not happening to me, but when I opened my eyes widely, I could clearly see the reality that I consciously tried to hide, thinking that with the time things can change. Oh well, things do not change with the time, the only thing that they can do is become worse. For a few days I kept remembering and counting the things that I did wrong, but there was nothing that could definitely break a friendship, that probably was never a real. When no matter what you do is never good enough, means that its about to come to an end. We all mess up sometimes, but is it so hard to forgive your friend? Some things still cannot find a place in my head, because I don’t understand how could a friendship turn into hatred.  

When past is lost forever, when there is no chance to fix things and there’s no other way than to forget everything and go further, we finally understand that this is what people call “to grow up” and ” to see the truth” . You cannot build a future based on sorrow and qualms of conscience. In these moments, when the ground slips away, you put all the pieces together and try to make the right choice, the right decision. Some things will never be forgotten, but among sad memories, happy moments will always come as a caress. However, we can’t stuck in the past and cry for every lost friend. I bet life has prepared a lot more beautiful than what we’ve lost and thinking about the future, we find a hope – the light at the end of the tunnel.

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Winter fairy-tale

When winter came with all its white, you were mine to kiss goodnight.       

(Lang Leav- A Fairytale)                  


Winter has already come and we’re all waiting for something new and very special. Some people were waiting for it from summer, some started preparing from autumn, I am thinking about winter holidays, the most magical ones. I’d like to keep those moments forever, like a family dinner when all the family is finally together at a round table and when kinds are opening the present under a Christmas tree or when you’re all alone, far away from home, family or friends, you make yourself a cup of hot chocolate and watch the snow falling over the cold white ground. As a never-ending fairy-tale, winter is a pleasant combination of heat and cold from a warm blanket and a cold weather. Winter brings an atmosphere taken from a fairytale with a white colour that gives off light and power, which makes you truly feel that it’s winter. That moment when snowflakes fall from the sky is like a  blessing  from heaven, like thousands of falling stars, that we can catch in your hand.  All I see when I walk through the park are kids running and falling over the snow, making angels and smiling like they were given candies. Due to its colour, winter is light and purity, it is the base of a new year, a new beginning and new emotions.

Magic, oh magic, it’s everywhere! Even when you go shopping, it’s more special that in any other day, cause you buy presents for you darlings and you make it with love and analyze everything from the smallest details, pack up each present carefully and look for a safer place to hide them so that the holidays where perfect with the loved ones .

It’s all because winter is so special, so unique and really amazing. Sometimes we think the opposite, but in fact, cold and frosty days aren’t the worse if we find a better side of it, that could be staying home and chilling out.

10 things that make winter so special:

1. The atmosphere

2. Watching the snow come down

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3. Hot chocolate

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4. Warm sweaters

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5. Snowy night

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6. Christmas walkslarge (8)

7. Building snowmenlarge (10)

Are they made of snow or made of pastry, snowmen are the symbol of winter

8. Outdoor decorationslarge (5)

9. Decorating the houselarge (8)
10. Untangling christmas lightslarge (1)

I wish you a happy winter and a lot of funny, cute, amazing, unforgettable, crazy, wild, icy, spicy, lovely, bright adventures.


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Autumn tale

Autumn tale

Сет Autumn tale пользователя karminakk с skinny fit pants

MSGM long sleeve top

Jane Norman skinny fit pants
$49 –

Cutout boots
$73 –

Topshop satchel bag

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largeHappiness is not counted in flowers, presents, money or anything like that. Happiness is pure love and affection, beautiful words and sweet kisses. Happiness is just being close to each other, feeling the heartbeat, feeling the breath and  holding hands…


Hands of freedom.

  large (18)   The pleasant feeling of freedom is better than millions of chocolate.  The desire to fly high, up to infinity is a feature of age and character of today’s youth. Perhaps, most frequently, we’re trying to do something that’s not in our power, sometimes we fail, sometimes not, but as we know, the key to success is to try again and again until you will succeed. Thus, through hard work and ambition, you’ll get where you truly want and you’ll do what makes you really happy. The possibility of choosing the favorite activity as a basic occupation is a delight, a dream come true. I would say that nowadays we are often limited in freedoms and we are in a constant search of ways to fight with the situation.   Through freedom I understand a huge land were I could run endlessly or at least until I’ll no longer feel the earth under my feet. Freedom is the opportunity to do what you’ve done so many times in your imagination, but in real life you simply hesitated. Freedom is the feeling of spiritual release, the feeling of power, of confidence in future and in your own forces.

large (12)We are dreamers, we are young and restless, we need freedom as we need air. Freedom of expression, freedom of action and we are united by one desire – to create and light the future.

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The way you treat yourself, sets the standards for others.

large (11)hhh   Each of us is a unique personality, unique in its own way and what distinguishes us is not just the appearance, but also the spirit, the self-esteem and most importantly – education. We are beings willing to change and we’re always looking for something new, but sometimes we forget about ourselves. Here I don’t mean the kind of respect for other people, but for ourselves, the way we present to the world that surrounds us, the way of talking, communicating, the way of “playing” our individuality and the impressions that we make. In this chapter many of us have a lot to work, but that’s not the problem.

It is known that the way you treat yourself and behave, it’s exactly the way people will behave, it’s like setting the standards. If you’re always sad and pessimistic, neither the world will smile you back and you won’t get the spiritual warmth if you’re cold as ice. People must know how to love themselves, measurably, and how to make others love you instead. If you respect yourself, others will respect you, too, maybe even more. It is no need to close yourself and be inaccessible to the good intentions of others. There is nothing more pleasant than the company of a man who behaves with you so, as you truly deserve, with respect, no more no less. The underestimation is not acceptable, we are talking about serious things, but it can also be a cause of many people who cannot get out of their own world from that place of comfort.

If we had a bit of courage, we could become more open to the world and also to ourselves; we could discover something new that was hidden inside. The secret to success is in the self-confidence and no one but us can change something. If you smile, people will smile you back and you’ll be treated with care, warmth and respect. If you trust in yourself and in your own strengths, those who surround you will not only trust you but will gain confidence in themselves, which is not less important.large (11)

Of course, we have the power to change something in people: their opinion, their vision about life, but only if we are sure that it’s really necessary, because not everyone can agree with you. No matter what other people say, a point of view is always a personal kind of vision and it needs respect. Therefore, self-esteem is an important branch in the formation of a proper standard which will serve as instructions to those who will try to ‘read’ you, so they will know how to do it correctly. In the real meaning, this would be the way a person approaches you, the way a person behaves with you and how does the speaking go. Consequently, we should set the limits from the beginning and show what kind of personality we are, without exaggeration, of course. We can make huge steps, reach heights, do the best to be the best, but first, we should believe, believe that we can do it and that’s how all the people will treat us like: he/she is the ONE who can do IT.

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I can’t make you love me

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… I got a plan in the palm of my hand to get me rolling…

I know we can simply run for hours one after each other, I can take off my t-shirt, my shorts, but still I can’t make you love me. Either I’ll dye my hair  blonde or I’ll be dark-haired, you won’t pay attention to me. I’ll keep walking sexy, acting like a lady, wearing short skirts, smiling all the time, being kind, polite, but what the hell ? I’ll never make you love me! So I’ll just keep singing lalalala , wearing jeans and sneakers, with my half dark-half blonde hair, with the headphones in my ears listening to this song:

My sweet advise for you girls, never try to do the impossible, to force someone to love you. We are who we are, funny, sexy, smart, skinny, clumsy, crazy.. so let it be!

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Sunny mornings

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…there’s nothing more fresh than the morning air, nothing more cold than a cup of milk and nothing more pleasant than the view of the sunrise, sun lights and especially the smell of summer flowers…

The more I enjoy, the more I will miss those sunny mornings. Nothings compares with this gorgeous feeling, when you wake up with the window opened and feel the warmth of  the sun.

A perfect day begins with a beautiful morning and summer is up to give you unforgettable mornings. Taking into consideration how hard it is to get up in the morning, I think it is worth trying to enjoy such a pleasure.large (4)

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